https://medium.com/the-smoking-gun/lead-by-example-ca506b94d434
He stood alone, visibly shaken, chain smoking from a pack of borrowed cigarettes. We’d just taken our first hostile fire of the war, some inaccurate mortar rounds that peppered the rocky soil just outside the hastily-strewn concertina wire that formed our defensive perimeter. But that fire, combined with early reports of division casualties, was enough to push him to the edge. I approached him and stood by his side, facing the opposite direction as I watched the soldiers maneuver carefully to keep their distance from their commander.
“You doin’ alright?” I asked quietly.
“I’m fine,” he answered, his hands shaking noticeably as he took a hard pull on the cigarette.
“I’ve never seen you smoke,” I replied.
“I’m out of Copenhagen.”
“You know,” I said, easing into the meat of the conversation, “this isn’t a good look for you.” I nodded toward the nearby troops, “They’re watching you. They see you’re upset, and it’s upsetting them.”
“What do you want me to do about it?” He spat. “I’m not like you. I can’t just turn it off.”
“Sir,” I began, “they need you now more than ever. This is ‘go time.’ They need to know that you’re in control. They need to see that command presence.”
He took another long pull from the cigarette in his hand, threw it to the ground, and crushed it under the toe of his boot. He stuck his forefinger into the pack and fished out a fresh cigarette and lit it. He looked down at his feet for a moment, then took a breath and turned his head in my direction. “Are you through?” He asked.
I was. I left him there, standing alone, cigarette in trembling hand.
Author, ethnographer, and leadership expert Simon Sinek published a book last year titled “Leaders Eat Last.” On the surface, the main point seems obvious, something we've all heard and most of us emulate. In reality, there is far more to leading by example than waiting for everyone else to eat before you fill your plate. (And, in truth, there is a lot more to the book than the title suggests.)